If we can manage a hundred days apart, we can manage a million days together…

The biggest challenge I am facing being out here in San Francisco getting my degree isn’t actual going to school again, ten years after graduating high school, nor is it the actually workload from school, nor coursework and projects. It is being separated from my partner. A man so secure in our love for one an other that he supports me in all my crazy little endeavors, even if it means that we are separated by over 9’000 km for about a hundred days at the time. The decision to take our relationship intercontinentally wasn’t an easy one, and it was the main point that would have held me away from pursuing my further education. That’s when my super-man stepped in and promised that he would wait for me, drunkenly shouting out the words on a crowded dance floor, yodeling along to Mumford and Son’s “I will wait”, and it is a memory I fondly think back to with very mixed emotions. Even as I am writing this I am giggling at the memory, while my eyes fill with tears.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my man beyond the world, and feel guilty for taking myself away from him for limited time periods, but it is him who is strong enough to be the glue that keeps us together. It is his dedication of waking up at 6 am every morning to speak to me before he is off to work, and I am off to bed. It is his strength of encouraging me when I call him crying and yelling in frustration, which allows me to keep on going, not only with my studies and our very long distance relationship, but in general. He is the strongest person I have ever met, and therefore, this post goes out to you. I salute your strength and your belief in me, even when I don’t believe in myself. I bow to your calmness of our separation, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your love and support.

And at the end of the day, distance doesn’t mean very much when the person you are distanced from means everything.

Today’s guest…

Today I have the absolute pleasure to lend my blog to one of my absolute favorite bloggers! I turn to her for advice, courage and inspiration.

Hanna is the founder of Grainbrain (www.grainbrain.ch), a nutrition practice specialised on helping people with diabetes to be healthier and more confident, by pinpointing a few lifestyle changes. Having grown up with Diabetes Type I, she knows what it means to take your health into your own hands. Hanna is a passionate foodie and believes that self-care can be fun and easy. She is in love with the moment when her clients realise that they can create the health and life that they want for themselves.

I asked Hanna to especially write a lil something for us regarding confidence, something we all struggle with at one point or another.

The Confidence Is In The Dress, Right?

You know how it is.

You step out of your favorite shop, with what you see as The. Perfect. Dress. in a gorgeous bag on your arm. The dress is also known as The Confidence-Booster, or Dr. Feelgood.

Just to let that glow of “omg I found IT” last a little longer, you browse a few more stores, just as to validate your purchase even more.

And you swing by Starbucks to treat yourself to a coffee because you found the Saving Grace to your wardrobe.

Once at home, you hang your new little darling so that it’s visible every time you look at your closet. You admire it. Perhaps you even Instagram it, tweet it and put it on your blog.

Not to mention your at least 5 closest friends who have all already received the almost-never-flattering fitting room picture of you and The Dress on WhatsApp.

By this point you are certain that your confidence will get on a space shuttle and skyrocket as soon as you put that dress on. And perhaps it does. At least momentarily.

But is that really real confidence?

Putting the value of your confidence on a dress means putting a lot of pressure on yourself. What if you happen to feel bloated on the day you want to wear it? Or the shoes you imagined to wear with it just don’t work with the outfit? Or, shock and horror, it’s too cold outside for the dress and you need to wear something else?

Does your whole confidence fall on that? And, more importantly, should it?

To me the answer is clear: no. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever should a dress be the make it or break it for your confidence. That’s not real confidence. That’s frankly an extremely cowardly try to express courage.

So, are you validating your existence based on your subjective opinion of yourself, such as, say, seeing yourself in that dress?

And, besides, what is confidence really based on anyway? Is it really that perfect dress? Or is it the perfect (and expensive) make up you wear?

Let’s face this together, so that it doesn’t become so scary: confidence doesn’t come from the outside. It comes from the inside. From the person you are.

It comes from the things that make you feel comfortable in your own skin, and from the clothes that make you shine from within. Often, a person looks their best (and their sexiest) when they wear something they are comfortable in, and not when they wear the awesome, yet slightly uncomfortable, dress we talked about above. Just ask your friends.

That of course doesn’t mean you should lounge around in your yoga pants and a t-shirt all day, every day. But it doesn’t mean that you need to dig out the Spanx to fit into that overly slimmed dress either. And here’s another ground-breaking thing: it’s finding your personal style that gives you confidence and courage. Dare to listen to yourself and find out what suits you, not runway models.

So, I want to ask you to stop looking for confidence from the outside. Instead, find confidence in YOU for what YOU are – a perfect human being.